The older crowd

[slick97spirit]

I was going to forward this to some of my friends on my email contact list, then it dawned on me..........

I know of another group this is more fitting for.........

Here goes..

 

A distraught senior citizen

Phoned her doctor's office.

'Is it true,' she wanted to know,

'that the medication

You prescribed has to be taken

For the rest of my life?'

'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence

Before the senior lady replied,

I'm wondering, then,

Just how serious is my condition

Because this prescription is marked

'NO REFILLS'.'

***********************

An older gentleman was

On the operating table

Awaiting surgery

And he insisted that his son,

A renowned surgeon,

Perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia,

He asked to speak to his son

'Yes, Dad, what is it? '

'Don't be nervous, son;

Do your best

And just remember,

If it doesn't go well,

If something happens to me,

Your mother

Is going to come and

Live with you and your wife....'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (I LOVE IT!)

Aging:

Eventually you will reach a point

When you stop lying about your age

And start bragging about it..

---------------------------------

The older we get,

The fewer things

Seem worth waiting in line for.

---------------------------------

Some people

Try to turn back their odometers.

Not me!

I want people to know 'why'

I look this way.

I've traveled a long way

And some of the roads weren't paved.

********************

When you are dissatisfied

And would like to go back to youth,

Think of Algebra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-------------------------------

One of the many things

No one tells you about aging

Is that it is such a nice change

From being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful,

But being old is comfortable.

First you forget names,

Then you forget faces.

Then you forget to pull up your zipper.

It's worse when

You forget to pull it down.

---------------------------------

Long ago

When men cursed

And beat the ground with sticks,

It was called witchcraft...

Today, it's called golf.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two guys one old one young

Are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart

When they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy,

'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,

And I guess I wasn't paying attention

To where I was going.

The young guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence.

I'm looking for my wife, too...'

I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate'

The old guy says, 'Well,

Maybe I can help you find her..

What does she look like?'

' The young guy says,

'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,

With red hair,

Green eyes, is buxom, wearing no bra,

Long legs,

And is wearing short shorts.

What does your wife look like?'

To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter,

--- let's look for yours.'

[Rick Haywood]

In 1965 Earl Bluegrass from Kentucky

was drafted into the Marines

On his first day of basic training

they gave him a comb

then they shaved his head

 

On his second day of training

they gave him a toothbrush

and then pulled all his teeth

 

On his third day of training

they gave him a jock strap

They are still looking for Earl

[Guest]

"Before you can be old and wise you must first be young and stupid":smile5:

[Rick Haywood]

"Before you can be old and wise you must first be young and stupid":smile5:

 

Been There

[Yammer Dan]

What Ruffy said. I think I got it covered.

[Midicat]

After visiting the doctor and taking multiple tests, a man was told his short term memory loss was not a physical problem.

One night he and his wife are sitting together watching tv. The man says "I'm going to the kitchen, would you like anything?"

The wife replies "yes, I'd like a cup of coffee."

"ok" says the husband

"Are you going to be able to remember that?" says the wife.

"Yes, it's fine." replied the husband.

"With cream" adds the wife.

"Fine" says the husband.

"And sugar." says the wife.

"Ok, got it" replies the husband.

"Shouldn't you right that down? You know the doctor said you should write things down to help you remember." asks the wife.

Irritated, the husband replies "No, I don't need to write that down. I've got it. Coffee with cream and sugar."

The husband leaves and returns 25 minutes later carrying a plate of bacon and eggs and hands it to the wife. The wife looks down at the plate and asks "where's my toast?"