Going to be a rough night..............

[BEER30]

Sorry friends for what I have to say, but coming home tonight I stumble unto an accident. I've seen my fair share of horrific accidents, but when it comes to children, it is hard to grasp. It had been raining with a some water standing on the roads. Just as I was coming in front of the main gate here at Camp Lejuene, a lady whom witnessed an accident was on the outside side of the road. Trees in the medium that were planted years ago in remembrance of the Marines lost in Beirut. In them trees was a ford P/U twisted among one of them with a man wondering beside. No other traffic stopped to help, so as I passed, slowed down, stopped and backed up and applied my 4-ways. Lady came to me to let me know 911 was called and was in fear as she was by herself other than her small child in her car that she could not leave unattended. I approached the man, he was in near shock. I asked if he was OK, and I he could say was."Where is my baby?" We were within 10" of his truck and I glanced over towards the truck. I wished I hadn't............. I knew there was nothing I could do for the 5 year old child. I will not go into what I seen , but it I tell you is one of the most heart breaking thing that one will endure is seeing a child in the manner that I had seen. All I knew now was to keep the father from going further into shock by talking with him , asking him simple questions to keep his thoughts away from what happened. I asked him his name, where he live, and then his wife's name. And then he told me he lost his wife 3 years ago and that he was a single parent and suddenly he pleaded,"Please go check on his son" repetitively. I knew there was nothing I could do for his son, but to say that he was OK for now and when the EMT arrives , they will do a better job to take care of him that we could. I could not , nor would not tell him what had happened to his loved one. Only to keep him occupied on answering simple questions to avoid him from going to his truck. It was about 10 minutes before another car stopped to help as many rubber-necked as they went by. A man gets out along with his wife to give me a blanket to lay the father down. Then a few more minutes before a lady stopped and thankfully she was a nurse. No one else knew that the child was in the truck until he cried out loudly again of his child. I could only give signals to others when the father wasn't looking that the child was lost, but she went over to the P/U to access what I have gestured to her. Soon, JPD arrived and took over the scene with the EMT and FD soon arriving shortly afterwords.

I was relieved by the JPD as I did not witness the accident. I was only 15 miles from home and it was the longest 15 mile ride that I could remember. I cannot sleep right now though I tried, nor do I think I will fall asleep here soon. I don't lean on shoulders much , but this is really eating at me at it involved a child and hopefully letting this out might get some of it off my chest. Thanks for lending me your ear.

 

 

 

BEER30

[friesman]

There is never anything as hearbreaking as seeing children perish. You can know that you did as much as you could by helping out and with your kind wordsand actions. I hope you can put this behind you but its never easy seeing something like this. Make sure you give your family an extra hug and kind word tonight and lean on them, it will help.

 

Brian

[gunkylump]

Hang in there Beer.....it's a tough one to take for sure. The father is going to have it a lot rougher.

 

Kudos to you for stopping and assisting....as you said, a lot of people just kept on going. I shudder to think of what could have occurred at the scene had you not stopped and assisted as you did.

 

Focus on the good that you did tonight my friend, and try to dismiss the rest. My thoughts are with you and the good that you did tonight.

 

gunk

[sarges46]

Aww man! I feel for you having to witness what you saw. There have always been tough things to deal with in life....bad things involving kids has to be the worst. Its just not fair is it?

 

I dont have any words to comfort you. You did what you could for the father they can be greatful for that. I guess you know that there was nothing you could do for the little guy....he is with his Mom now...

 

Keep talking with buddies or even the pros if this continues to eat you up. Stuff like this can tear a persons mind up pretty bad. You did the right thing by coming here to perhaps get some words that may comfort you.

 

Dont avoid talking.....we know holding it in will be worse in the long run.

 

It will be a long night......hopefully not to many for you.

[oldgoat]

your a good man beer you did what you could.

rest wont come easy to you tonight.

i for one would not want to see that.

you take care of your self.

 

sincerly james

aka oldgoat

[Yammer Dan]

Takes a long time to wipe those away Gene. Sorry you had to see it.

[skydoc_17]

Hey Gene,

Both Jean and I send prayers to you especially, and to the man that had the accident. If you didn't feel the way you do, you wouldn't be human. Thanks for reminding me that life is a "gift", NEVER to be taken for granted. It's like a snowflake, here one moment, and gone the next.

Your a good man,

Earl and Jean

[Monty]

You did good, Gene. If he would have seen his son, things could have escalated in a bad way. You did exactly the right thing, in keeping him occupied.

 

Dealing with a child in that situation really sucks. I know it all too well, and way too many times. It will get easier, but as was already said, you have to talk about it. Talking about it helps. If not, you can always see a grief counselor. I feel for ya Bud, just hang in there.

[painterman67]

dont reallt know what to say my friend. Prayers sent for you and yours as they go through this with you. The father also gets a few too . Hope you mind and emotions heal well my friend.

 

 

David

[etcswjoe]

I am thankful that people like you still exsist in this world, your comfort and clear thinking may have saved that man's life and sainity. I am truly sorry you had to witness such an event and my thoughts and prayers go out to you, the father and his family.

[RandyR]

Gene, I suspect last night will be with you forever. It would me.

 

Its also why I have to thank police officers who see such things on a regular basis, and thank God our EMT's are willing to work to save as many as they can.

[BEER30]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers. Needless to say I feel like craps as I only managed to get a few hours of restless sleep. However I beleive the father needs all the help he can get. I only know of his first name and he lives near by on the same street I do.

Keeping him occupied last night was the only thing I could do and yes to help prevent a further tragedy. It's the gut wrenching scene of the helpless child that get's to me. But I'll be OK and will most likely prevail stronger in the future. Just have to get the images out my head.

 

Thanks again ,

 

BEER30

[Squidley]

As your heart weeps my friend...so does ours. I have seen a couple of bad accidents and it never truly leaves you, just gets buried. There are no words of wisdom besides talk if you feel the need to. I will speak just for me in that if you need to talk, my phone is always on, that is said very sincerely.

Thank god for people like you that will still look to care for a fellow human being in distress. God looks favorable on folks that take care of his children, I wish you all the best Gene

[Marcarl]

Man do I feel for you,,,,,, don't wish such a thing on anybody,,,

Maybe the best thing you can do now is to go and support the man some more,,,, don't really know how you would that, but you two shared something last night, something very traumatic for you and something even more traumatic, horrific, important, life encroaching for him. Something only you two can share,,,,, and our Heavenly Father. Get together and talk to Him about it,,,, it's the best you can do.....IMO

Carl

[Gary N.]

You're a good man Gene. I agree with Carl, seek out the man and give him strength by being a friend. Help him to find the professional help he will need to get through this. And my friend you may need it too. Don't be ashamed to ask for it. Post traumatic stress is real.

[Drreb]

What can one say when one witnesses such a terrible sight. Gene I'm very sorry. God grant you strength to find peace in such a rough life circumstance.

[AKRefugee]

Gene, I well understand where you are at with this. I experienced almost a carbon copy of this several years ago.The images never go away, and never should, as that it what assures us of our humanity and humility. This is a piece of you that has been added without your desire or permission. The shock and grief never goes away but rather you learn to life with this new piece of you. As so many have already said talking about it will help. Expressing your grief and sense of helpfulness does not make it go away but it does help you bring it into better focus. You have my number and you can call me at any time day or night if you just need someone to listen.

 

All of our prayers are with you, the father and everyone involved and touched by this tragedy that their hearts and minds will be calmed and healed.

[Sideoftheroad]

I think you were there at the right place, right time by design. God puts people in places on purpose. As you said, lot of people just driving by. Had it not been you, the driver might have gotten up and seen his child. Who knows what would have happened after that. Maybe he would have killed himself. I agree that you should talk to him as well and heal together.

 

You are a great man for stopping and helping him.

 

God will not give you more than you can handle.

[DONATALIE]

Gene,

Unfortunately, I've seen these types of things regularly in my 20 year career, most of it as an accident reconstructionist. Mostly adults, but more than a few children also. I've seen guys leave the job due to PTSD. PLEASE take this seriously, and get help if you have the slightest inkling you may need it. Don't wait until it's too late. Also, don't second guess yourself when evaluating your actions last night. You did what you thought was right, and that is the only measure anyone should be held to. Don't let anyone else second guess you either (you'd be amazed how quick people who weren't even there are to judge). I can tell you that the images will never go away, the trick is to learn to deal with them, not suppress them. Not too many war stories, but my worst one is when a woman trapped in a car burned alive in front of me, looking into my eyes. We just could not get her out in time. Luckily the department psychiatrist forced me to sit and talk with him. He really was a great comfort. Again, don't be afraid to reach out for help, even if it's only to get someone to go for a ride with. Don

[mini-muffin]

This was on the local news channel's website.

 

JACKSONVILLE, N.C. - Police say a single vehicle crash killed a 5 year old.

It happened Sunday evening on NC 24 Eastbound, just past the entrance to Camp Lejeune.

Authorities say a 2004 Toyota Tacoma pick-up operated by 33 year old James Eric Marslender II of Hubert left the roadway and collided with a tree. His 5 year old son was pronounced dead at the scene.

Marslender was transported to Onslow Memorial for treatment.

 

 

Margaret

[Guest human4m]

Update at 3:56 p.m.

Court officials said James Marslender was charged Sunday with driving while intoxicated. JPD spokeswoman Beth Purcell would not confirm whether the charges were related to the wreck.

Updated at 1:38 p.m. to include information on where the child was sitting at the time of the wreck.

Authorities are investigating a one-vehicle wreck that resulted in the death of a small child over the weekend.

At about 8:10 p.m. Sunday, officers with the Jacksonville Police Department responded to a car that hit a tree on N.C. 24 east, just past the entrance to Camp Lejeune, according to a news release issued Monday by JPD.

A 2004 Toyota Tacoma operated by James Eric Marslender, 33, of Highway 172 in Hubert, left the roadway and collided with a tree, authorities said. The driver’s son, 5-year-old James Marslender II who was riding in the back seat, was pronounced dead at the scene.

James Marslender was transported to Onslow Memorial Hospital, officials said. The wreck remains under investigation.

[SteveW]

Hi Gene

I'm sure you will have many sleepless night over this. It is such a waist of life that words can not express the feelings.

When I was a Corpman in Nam back in the late 60's I had to try to patch up and keep alive many young men. Back then they were friends and when your 18 and 19 you don't see them as children. Now many years later and older I look back at times and they were only children.

I don't think this memory will ever pass completly for you but at least the child will always be remembered. Not in a way you would want but remembered anyway.

 

Steve

[Iowa Guy]

Gene,

Unfortunately, I've seen these types of things regularly in my 20 year career, most of it as an accident reconstructionist. Mostly adults, but more than a few children also. I've seen guys leave the job due to PTSD. PLEASE take this seriously, and get help if you have the slightest inkling you may need it. Don't wait until it's too late. Also, don't second guess yourself when evaluating your actions last night. You did what you thought was right, and that is the only measure anyone should be held to. Don't let anyone else second guess you either (you'd be amazed how quick people who weren't even there are to judge). I can tell you that the images will never go away, the trick is to learn to deal with them, not suppress them. Not too many war stories, but my worst one is when a woman trapped in a car burned alive in front of me, looking into my eyes. We just could not get her out in time. Luckily the department psychiatrist forced me to sit and talk with him. He really was a great comfort. Again, don't be afraid to reach out for help, even if it's only to get someone to go for a ride with. Don

 

You saw and experienced some very difficult stuff. I treat trauma witnesses with PTSD and I recommend that you go to see a therapist very soon. It may only be a check-up or it may be a brief treatment that could save you from nightmares, flashbacks and jangled nerves for years that could be difficult for you and those around you to cope with. Treatments are very good now. My heart goes out to you.

Iowa Guy

[Dave3]

It's a sad day when a child suffers as the result of someones selfishness.

Weather it was the road conditions the James Sr couldn't handle or alcohol that caused this

dreadful accident, the innocent suffer.

My heart goes out to the boy, his father and to Gene.

[BEER30]

I'm feeling much better today that my mind is back to work. It's just the kids I worry more about. Like I said before , I have seen many a horrific tragedies. Once again, seeing kids hurt is what gets me.

Hadn't seen the news or any report other than what was posted here. However I did not smell alcohol on the father and I was face to face with him arm in arms with him. If I did, I may have done something stupid, maybe not, but glad I didn't. But then again with all that was happening, it was better to make the best out of it for safety for all at the time.

Nothing can be done now for the child, but look upon it as a reunion with his Mother. I'm not much of a religious person, but May the Lord Bless the both of them and deal with the father the best way he can.

Thanks again, all of you for your concerns.

 

 

BEER30