Skid Posted July 31, 2010 Share #26 Posted July 31, 2010 Maybe this is a Oman and I shouldn't pop the question this weekend...Hmmmmm Just make sure its the right women.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yammer Dan Posted July 31, 2010 Share #27 Posted July 31, 2010 Just make sure its the right women.... I'll 2nd That!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motorcycletom Posted July 31, 2010 Share #28 Posted July 31, 2010 Been there did that twice, best of luck. I could go on about it but all i will say is this, When things look thier wost turn to your friends this will tell you who your real friends are!! BEST OF LUCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruser Posted July 31, 2010 Share #29 Posted July 31, 2010 Wow!! does this bring back memories! It took 20 minutes to get married and 2 years to get divorced, and 5 years to rebulid, just make sure you have a list of what was yours before you married, the only things divideable are the maritial assets "those things aquired while married". other than that sit back enjoy the ride, smile as you lose all the crap you have accumulated and then ,plan ,build and exceed where you left off when you had the old ball and chain around your neck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dray Posted July 31, 2010 Share #30 Posted July 31, 2010 Buy her a bike. My ex has been down twice with minor injures. But shes sure to get it right sooner or later. She drives with about the same effort as she put into the marrage. Bull463 see this is where a higher dollar faster bike would have been worth giving ( the gift of love ) all joking aside sorry to hear but there are better days ahead hang in there dray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yama Mama Posted July 31, 2010 Share #31 Posted July 31, 2010 I wish you the best Randy. I have had no experience with divorce. I have been in love with the same man for 38 years though. Thank goodness Ron has never found out. Yama Mama:beersign: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cecdoo Posted July 31, 2010 Share #32 Posted July 31, 2010 Hey my friend, As you can tell by now you are not the first one to go through the wrath of a divorce.. You have already come to the conclusion that the only ones who make out are the attorneys.. I pray your wife figures this out too, where you both can come to a sound decision that suits you both fairly and be able to walk away as friends. Now, as being your friend Randy, I strongly ask you not to do anything stupid that you will regret.. Take a deep breath, take it all in, live through it like many of us have, and you will be a much stronger person in the end, a more wealthier person (which you cant see right now), but best of all........you will be much wiser... Your friend.. Eck Nicely said and very true, hang in there Randy:mo money: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silent67 Posted July 31, 2010 Share #33 Posted July 31, 2010 Just remember after it's over with, Sex is highly over rated!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freebird Posted July 31, 2010 Share #34 Posted July 31, 2010 is not.....it's like air, doesn't seem that important unless you aren't getting any. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silent67 Posted July 31, 2010 Share #35 Posted July 31, 2010 is not.....it's like air, doesn't seem that important unless you aren't getting any. I'm talking about the hitched, ball and chain kind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snaggletooth Posted July 31, 2010 Share #36 Posted July 31, 2010 Scarylarry had a good point. Worked pretty well for me. I kept my mouth shut and took notes on everything that went on during the last 6 months of the marriage. The more she fought for and found out she couldn't get the more she fought to get something else. It got crazy. Her demands got so be so unreasonable that her lawyer finally asked the judge to allow her to withdraw as counsel right before our last hearing. The judge allowed it and gave my ex 2 weeks to find new counsel. She notified the court she would represent herself. Well...like they say ya know. It did not go well for her. I kept the home, the car, my possesions that I'd had all my life and got full custody of our 9 month old daughter. She pays support to me and she got stuck with over $23,000 worth of credit card debt that she ran up over the last few months. She had 19 credit cards I didn't even know about. Didn't see her again for over two years after the court ruled against her so it worked out pretty well for me and "da kid". She has only showed up a few times in the last 18 years so the daughter didn't have the issues to deal with between parents. That was a huge plus. Like I said, mouth shut, take goods notes and keep good records. Keep your cool as hard as it may be. I pays off in the long run. Hang in there my friend. Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venturous Randy Posted August 1, 2010 Author Share #37 Posted August 1, 2010 I really do appreciate the comments, phone calls and advice and I know it is coming from friends. The sad part about this is my future ex can be a great person. The problem is she has suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder for years and it is getting worse. If you are not familiar with BPD, Google it. She takes an anti depressant for it and if she takes it correctly and keeps her diabetes in reasonable control, she can be a sweetheart, as many have seen at either Asheville or Vogal. The problem is the other side of her that I have had to deal with and the event that happened when we separated got her put in jail. She has always been a person with a big feeling of entitlement and it is really coming out now. I have always been a big enabler and when you put those two together, it will literally run you into the ground. The good part so far is now that I am caring about myself, I have lost 55 pounds and my diabetes is in the best control in many years and I am off insulin. The other good part is there are no minor children involved. Our son is 40 and the two grandkids are 19 and 20. We have been married over 41 years so any assets are part of the marriage. What this basically comes down to is this is the divorce she wanted and the divorce I needed. RandyA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spear Posted August 1, 2010 Share #38 Posted August 1, 2010 I wish you the best Randy. I have had no experience with divorce. I have been in love with the same man for 38 years though. Thank goodness Ron has never found out. Yama Mama:beersign: Ooooh. Peg! That's NOT funny! (Well it sorta is if you wanna joke - but this is NO joking matter.) I'll go one better than you. Been in love with the same girl for 40 years and been happily married for 36 of them. And before anybody asks, that's the LAST 36 years - and still counting. That's me and my rock! (Excuse the pun.) | | | \/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruser Posted August 1, 2010 Share #39 Posted August 1, 2010 I really do appreciate the comments, phone calls and advice and I know it is coming from friends. The sad part about this is my future ex can be a great person. The problem is she has suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder for years and it is getting worse. If you are not familiar with BPD, Google it. She takes an anti depressant for it and if she takes it correctly and keeps her diabetes in reasonable control, she can be a sweetheart, as many have seen at either Asheville or Vogal. The problem is the other side of her that I have had to deal with and the event that happened when we separated got her put in jail. She has always been a person with a big feeling of entitlement and it is really coming out now. I have always been a big enabler and when you put those two together, it will literally run you into the ground. The good part so far is now that I am caring about myself, I have lost 55 pounds and my diabetes is in the best control in many years and I am off insulin. The other good part is there are no minor children involved. Our son is 40 and the two grandkids are 19 and 20. We have been married over 41 years so any assets are part of the marriage. What this basically comes down to is this is the divorce she wanted and the divorce I needed. RandyA needs is short for necessity , if thats the case then its exactly what should happen no matter the road that gets you their. its called being healthy in both mind and body ! I wish you the best even though I know its brutal right now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuckShot Posted August 1, 2010 Share #40 Posted August 1, 2010 I really do appreciate the comments, phone calls and advice and I know it is coming from friends. The sad part about this is my future ex can be a great person. The problem is she has suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder for years and it is getting worse. If you are not familiar with BPD, Google it. She takes an anti depressant for it and if she takes it correctly and keeps her diabetes in reasonable control, she can be a sweetheart, as many have seen at either Asheville or Vogal. The problem is the other side of her that I have had to deal with and the event that happened when we separated got her put in jail. She has always been a person with a big feeling of entitlement and it is really coming out now. I have always been a big enabler and when you put those two together, it will literally run you into the ground. The good part so far is now that I am caring about myself, I have lost 55 pounds and my diabetes is in the best control in many years and I am off insulin. The other good part is there are no minor children involved. Our son is 40 and the two grandkids are 19 and 20. We have been married over 41 years so any assets are part of the marriage. What this basically comes down to is this is the divorce she wanted and the divorce I needed. RandyA[/quote Sounds like your mind is in the right place and you have everything under control. Remember---friends are sent by god in times of need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barend Posted August 1, 2010 Share #41 Posted August 1, 2010 The sad part about this is my future ex can be a great person. She has always been a person with a big feeling of entitlement and it is really coming out now. What this basically comes down to is this is the divorce she wanted RandyA It goes pretty much without say that no divorce is ever "fun" though some can be more brutal then others. Part of this, in my opinion, is that emotions take over; a divorce is a business transaction, and the best thing anyone can do in this situation is to keep that in mind. You say, your future ex is a good person and I have no doubt she is (can be) but her lawyer will try and take you to the cleaners. If this is what she wanted you should probably play on that, never mind that you needed it. My father paid alimony till the day he died and he paid for almost 40 years. You might want to think hard on what you're willing to give up to prevent that. I was lucky in a sense that my ex let me go without alimony or child support and a check for 2K. she wanted out, I didn't, She has since apologized for "what she put me through", go figure! I wish you the best, these are hard times regardless of whether you "win" or "lose"! You're in my thoughts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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