Important information about light bulbs

[Hummingbird]

For years it was believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs do not emit light, they suck dark. Thus we will now call these bulbs dark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a spokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has a mass heavier than light, and that dark is faster than light.

 

The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less dark right next to them than it is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker.

 

A candle is a primitive dark sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle.

 

Unfortunately, today's primitive dark suckers have a very limited range. There are also portable dark suckers. These bulbs can't handle all of the dark themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate again.

 

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in the solid wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount of heat. Thus it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle.

 

Dark is also heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it gets slowly darker and darker. When you reach approximately fifty feet, you are in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats to the top.

 

The immense power of the dark can be utilized to man's advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes and push it through turbines which generates electricity and helps push dark to the ocean, where it may be safely stored. Prior to turbines, it was much more difficult to get dark from rivers and lakes to the ocean.

 

The Indians recognized this problem and tried to solve it. When on a river in a canoe traveling in the same direction as the flow of dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the flow of dark, but when they traveled against the flow of dark, they paddled quickly so as to help the dark along its way.

 

Finally we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then slowly open the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet, but since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

 

In conclusion, it has been stated that dark suckers make our lives much easier, so the next time you look at an electric bulb, remember that it is indeed a dark sucker.

[Dano]

Still on those meds after cutting the finger off, eh?! No wonder mama won't let you near the saw!!!!

[Hummingbird]

Still on those meds after cutting the finger off, eh?! No wonder mama won't let you near the saw!!!!

 

 

:rotfl:

 

 

Dano - you shouldn't do that to me - it still hurts when I laugh too hard, then I gotta take more meds - er wait a minute I just had a brain fart

[Marcarl]

I think I met you once, maybe twice, can't rightly remember, so I guess you must be a knowledge sucker, I did know some things before I met you, but now I'm not sure there is anything left to remember, or whether there is anything worthwhile knowing, if you know what I mean. So you must have taken it all from me,,,, it has been proven that nobody else has all the smarts that I once had, or they would be sticking out like a sore thumb, so you must have it all now. Given time you will learn how to deal with all the thoughts you have sucked from me, slowly they will dawn on you as light is allowed to enter dark, but be careful, for some of those thoughts carry awesome responsibility and responsibility causes pain, in fact it can cause so much pain that one's head would seem to want to explode with the dark of it all. In a way, I am happy to have rid of my thoughts, but it does not necessarily please me that you now have them, for if not controlled properly they can get you into lots of trouble, and that would cause more darkness. I wish you well. It is best, I have found, to stay away from humans of the opposite sex, for then your thoughts tend to be the least controllable and pain can be felt in far more places than is normal and it can get downright aggravating. Loose thoughts, as well, can be dangerous, so be careful to keep a tight rein on them. That is not as easy as it might seem at first, but in time you might learn that keeping them to yourself and not trying to share them with everybody you meet, sure outweighs the expected results.

[First_N_Last]

I think your letting the bird talk for you.

[Hummingbird]

I think I met you once, maybe twice, can't rightly remember, so I guess you must be a knowledge sucker, I did know some things before I met you, but now I'm not sure there is anything left to remember, or whether there is anything worthwhile knowing, if you know what I mean. So you must have taken it all from me,,,, it has been proven that nobody else has all the smarts that I once had, or they would be sticking out like a sore thumb, so you must have it all now. Given time you will learn how to deal with all the thoughts you have sucked from me, slowly they will dawn on you as light is allowed to enter dark, but be careful, for some of those thoughts carry awesome responsibility and responsibility causes pain, in fact it can cause so much pain that one's head would seem to want to explode with the dark of it all. In a way, I am happy to have rid of my thoughts, but it does not necessarily please me that you now have them, for if not controlled properly they can get you into lots of trouble, and that would cause more darkness. I wish you well. It is best, I have found, to stay away from humans of the opposite sex, for then your thoughts tend to be the least controllable and pain can be felt in far more places than is normal and it can get downright aggravating. Loose thoughts, as well, can be dangerous, so be careful to keep a tight rein on them. That is not as easy as it might seem at first, but in time you might learn that keeping them to yourself and not trying to share them with everybody you meet, sure outweighs the expected results.

 

Carl - I know I'm good but our several fleeting moments of conversation surely wouldn't allow for a complete deletion of your thought power as witness by the above post. However I must warn that there WILL be times when you have lapses of memory, remember when you walked from one room to another and forgot why you went there ? That was my lingering draw process - it will become common place, my best advise is to keep Marca close at hand to take notes for you as you will be needing them to guide you thru your daily tasks. One other thing - I implanted a yearning for a 2nd gen bike - be careful or you'll be looking for one before you think - err wait a minute -

[BuckShot]

Went to the store to buy some of those new dark suckers but they are not up to date yet and only had light bulbs. Manager of store looked at me very funny when I asked him if he knew where I could possibly buy dark suckers, and even asked if I had a camera. I asked him why he wanted to know if I had a carmera sence we were talking about dark suckers not camera's and that I had no interest in buying a camera because I already own one. In the long run I left the store discusted because the manager then change the subject again by asking about my medical history and I told him sence he was not a doctor he had no need to know that information, and if he did not know where I could buy dark suckers all he had to say was that he didn't know, and he would not be wasting all of my time with dumb questions.

[Hummingbird]

Went to the store to buy some of those new dark suckers but they are not up to date yet and only had light bulbs. Manager of store looked at me very funny when I asked him if he knew where I could possibly buy dark suckers, and even asked if I had a camera. I asked him why he wanted to know if I had a carmera sence we were talking about dark suckers not camera's and that I had no interest in buying a camera because I already own one. In the long run I left the store discusted because the manager then change the subject again by asking about my medical history and I told him sence he was not a doctor he had no need to know that information, and if he did not know where I could buy dark suckers all he had to say was that he didn't know, and he would not be wasting all of my time with dumb questions.

 

 

:rotfl:

[a1bummer]

I'm leaving before I forget to remember why I'm here.

[Trader]

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

Some people have WAY to much time on their hands! (or what's left of them)

[First_N_Last]

OK has anyone replaced their stoplight 1157 dark sucker with a Hologen H1157 dark sucker?

 

Is it ok on rsv without melting lense?

 

JohnB

[OB-1]

For years it was believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs do not emit light, they suck dark. Thus we will now call these bulbs dark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a spokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has a mass heavier than light, and that dark is faster than light.

 

The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less dark right next to them than it is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker.

 

A candle is a primitive dark sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle.

 

Unfortunately, today's primitive dark suckers have a very limited range. There are also portable dark suckers. These bulbs can't handle all of the dark themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate again.

 

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in the solid wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount of heat. Thus it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle.

 

Dark is also heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it gets slowly darker and darker. When you reach approximately fifty feet, you are in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats to the top.

 

The immense power of the dark can be utilized to man's advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes and push it through turbines which generates electricity and helps push dark to the ocean, where it may be safely stored. Prior to turbines, it was much more difficult to get dark from rivers and lakes to the ocean.

 

The Indians recognized this problem and tried to solve it. When on a river in a canoe traveling in the same direction as the flow of dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the flow of dark, but when they traveled against the flow of dark, they paddled quickly so as to help the dark along its way.

 

Finally we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then slowly open the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet, but since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

 

In conclusion, it has been stated that dark suckers make our lives much easier, so the next time you look at an electric bulb, remember that it is indeed a dark sucker.

 

This sounds like the same rational used to come up with the theory of "Global Warming".