re-thinking my wife riding..

[sarges46]

Good thoughts from all involved. Gary, our hearts still go out to you.

 

We ride seperate bikes and that can be challenging as well. I find myself constantly watching my rear view if she is following and chatting up if she is leading.

 

Just to complicate things we both ride with our kids. Our daughter rides with Mom and our son rides with me.

 

This brings a whole new fear into both of us during these times. We are careful.

 

I dumped my son last year in Arkansas and Marilyn dumped our daughter in Ontario the year before. Both were slow speed stuff but still had potential for some hurts.

 

Both kids did great and apparently listened when we talked to them about how to get off quickly if the bike is falling over. Both stepped off like champs and in my sons case he got a good chuckle watching his old man go over the windshield in roll into the ditch!

 

We all love to ride and life is too short. Yes, we worry about the what ifs.... but as mentioned we can only control things to a certain degree, after that it's up to the big guy and his plans.

[royalstarjac]

I have been having a hard time coming up with the right words to respond to this thread. As most of the long time members here know, I have lived through this very nightmare. On Oct. 17, 2007 I lost the love of my life, the mother of my children and my best friend for over 35 years in a bike accident. There is no physical pain worse then the pain of loosing your sole mate. I am still not over this and know that I never will be. I've learnt to live with the pain.

 

After three and half months in hospital and another three months of rehab I was able to get back on a bike again. Many people have asked me how I was able to do that after what I went through and I honestly can't answer that question. While I was laying in the hospital a couple of weeks after the accident I had already made up my mind that if I could walk again I was going to ride.

 

Bike riding has given me some of the greatest pleasure and also the worse pain I have had in my life. I don't have as strong a belief system that many of the members here have. Sometimes I wish I did. I really don't know what I believe any more. I do know that I enjoy life and I'm thankful that I'm still here to enjoy it. As long as I'm here and able too, I'll keep on keeping on. I found out how fragile our lives are so I'm going to enjoy everyday to the fullest and not worry about what might happen tomorrow.

 

God Bless you Gary. Even though we have never met we haven't forgotten you and Leslie.

[Yama Mama]

Very nicely said Gary.

Ron and I have ridden for 38 years. We rode together on a 350 Honda, then a 500 Honda. During the time we were raising our family, Ron rode to work on his 500. I did not have much time to ride at the time. It was not until 2002 when we purchased our RSV that we started riding again. It was actually me who kept insisting that we get another bike. Since we have been riding and traveling on our RSV, our lives have been changed for the better. We have so much enjoyment riding together. We are both aware that there is a real risk of injury for both of us. I trust Ron completely.

We will ride until it is too difficult for him to ride with me on the back.

I would imagine we will go for the 3 wheel variety or even a Can-AM.

As Bobbie stated we have met so many wonderful people, and seen so many beautiful places all do to the fact we ride together.

I love motorcycling more than I can say. I would never change a thing about our decision to ride together.

[bamico]

I literally share your dilemma/concerns, although ended up there much to my own surprise.

I’ve been riding over 20 years, have taken the MRC and the ERC and been married most of that time. My wife never had an interest in riding, but she never stopped me. I had a bike before we got married, and have had one for the 18 years we’ve been married.

Always hoped she’d try it, always left her with an open invitation, but didn’t want to pressure her. She never expressed any interest.

Then her Mom passed away one April at 72 years old. My mother-in-law spent 6 years with a degenerative lung disease. We literally watched her waste away. That summer over dinner one night my wife asked me, “So what does it feel like to ride a motorcycle anyway?” I almost fell over. For 15+ years, she wouldn’t even stand near the bike… now she was asking questions…

We started slow, I had an RSTD at the time. Ended up putting ~1500k miles on that summer with her. The next summer, we rode even more, ~5000 miles. Then on vacation the following April we ended up renting a HD Ultra Classic in TN, and spent several days riding the Natchez Trace with 2 other bikes. She so liked the improved comfort that we bought a Venture that May (2009). 6500 miles last summer and she just couldn’t ride enough, and she’s still going strong. We’re scheduled to ride to Americade this June.

All of a sudden, I went from wishing she’d join me to realizing, she had total blind faith in me.

We don’t have kids, its just the 2 of us, so when we ride, I truly do hold the responsibility for the safety of all things important in my life.

Somewhere between the RSTD and the Venture, as she was requesting longer and longer day trips, I sensed her falling asleep on the back. While flattered with the comfort level she had attained in my riding abilities, it was also a wake up call for things that may happen, and her apparent blind faith in me. Before buying the Venture, we had a long, serious talk about things that could happen. I’ve been down 1nce riding solo and we were married at the time so she knew about it. She told me she was well aware of the risks, and would rather have us be together than get the call at 11pm some night from the police at an accident scene (I used to do 90% of my riding at night). She also told me she didn’t want to have any regrets as life is too short.

Personally I ride for the same reasons. Life is short and precious. I lost my Mom when I was 4 years old to brain cancer. I never knew her. My Dad is still alive, but he’s not a happy person. Those that knew him then tell me that he never fully recovered from her death. She was in her mid 30s.

He is now in his early 70s, and in very poor health. He’s worked hard all his life, and now doesn’t have the health to enjoy retirement. When he saw the Venture for the first time, he told me how he used to ride in the canyons when he was younger. I never knew that until a year or two ago. He was poking around, I think, trying to see if I’d let him take the bike. Its been 40+ years since he’s been on a bike, and as all on the site know, the RSV is a big, heavy, bike, not a refresher/starter bike. I don’t think he could right the bike’s weight if his life depended on it, never mind ride it. Fortunately, for me, he answered on his own, sadly stating “well, maybe that’s not the best idea…” My heart sunk for him. Regrets are a terrible thing.

So, in a long-winded response, I align with the other respondents in that I ride because life is fleeting. I support my wife riding with me for the same reasons. I’m certainly a more cautious rider when she’s with me, and I practice low-speed maneuvers more than I ever did riding solo!

Its ironic really as she’s no wall-flower. She and I have hiked, mountain biked, scuba dived, skied, rappelled and fought in karate competitions. Cleary she can hold her own (all 5'4" of her..). Yet, somehow when she climbs on the RSV with me, I feel that responsibility. However, again, the + outweigh the – and I respect her position. She’s an adult, and she’s decided to join me on the motorcycling adventures. As others have stated, we’ve made some amazing memories on the road!

Of course, the two of you will need to find your own path on this.

And based on your email signature, it would appear you appreciate the precious nature of life.

I wish you all the best in your decision!

Bob