Cinderella Posted April 7, 2009 #1 Posted April 7, 2009 got a call yesterday that they want to meet with us finally. Up until now it has been solely contact with our victims advocate. The ada in charge of our case went on maternity leave so another ada has took over and he wanted to meet with us. Wants to go over the strong and weak points to our case and find out where we stand on an offer to the perp to keep from going to trial and having to put haylie thru that. This is a hard one, how much would you be willing to give? Im really torn on this. His prison time should be as devastating to him as his act was upon her and us. I feel the need for him to still be locked away when the day comes that she understands and starts to have to deal with what happened to her. Ive been doing a lot of reading and some talking with with other vicitims ( from some forums)and the impact its had on them as they aged and had to come to terms with it all. Its not a pretty outcome many times. They also said we may have to delay trial because of the dna retest not being back in time. This upsets me also...i want it over. Being that the trial is scheduled for June 1st.......we had planned to deal with it all and then head to ohio for much needed relaxing, unwinding and enjoy MD for the rest of the week. Motions are all due by next friday so we will be at a hearing that day at 5...and there is the motion hearing itself scheduled for the next fri at 9 I'll update you all after we meet today..have a 4:00 appt with him.
Iowawegian Posted April 7, 2009 #2 Posted April 7, 2009 You might know more about what you want to do, after you have the meeting. It has to be so hard going through this whole ordeal and I just wanted you to know that you are included in our prayers daily.
Mikealiasmike Posted April 7, 2009 #3 Posted April 7, 2009 I'm sure other C/O's on this site have said it b4 but if he gets transferred to another state we'll be watching. I mentioned in another thread how prayers are said for individuals, but many still go out to you and your family. May God give you strength. God Bless. Mike
cecdoo Posted April 7, 2009 #4 Posted April 7, 2009 Hoping they have some good news for you guys. Good Luck, Craig
mini-muffin Posted April 7, 2009 #5 Posted April 7, 2009 Dealing with the court system can be somewhat upsetting and confusing, but you guys will get through this. I hope they can give you some good info at this meeting and that this will all be over for you folks soon. We're here for you guys anything you need even if it's just to vent. Hang tough. Margaret
RoadKill Posted April 7, 2009 #6 Posted April 7, 2009 got a call yesterday that they want to meet with us finally. Up until now it has been solely contact with our victims advocate. The ada in charge of our case went on maternity leave so another ada has took over and he wanted to meet with us. Wants to go over the strong and weak points to our case and find out where we stand on an offer to the perp to keep from going to trial and having to put haylie thru that. This is a hard one, how much would you be willing to give? Im really torn on this. His prison time should be as devastating to him as his act was upon her and us. I feel the need for him to still be locked away when the day comes that she understands and starts to have to deal with what happened to her. Ive been doing a lot of reading and some talking with with other vicitims ( from some forums)and the impact its had on them as they aged and had to come to terms with it all. Its not a pretty outcome many times. They also said we may have to delay trial because of the dna retest not being back in time. This upsets me also...i want it over. Being that the trial is scheduled for June 1st.......we had planned to deal with it all and then head to ohio for much needed relaxing, unwinding and enjoy MD for the rest of the week. Motions are all due by next friday so we will be at a hearing that day at 5...and there is the motion hearing itself scheduled for the next fri at 9 I'll update you all after we meet today..have a 4:00 appt with him. You all are in my prayers. I am sure once you have all the information God will help you make the right decision.
BuckShot Posted April 7, 2009 #7 Posted April 7, 2009 I myself wouldn't give an inch. I wouldn't allow my wife to concide anything. You know the old saying, Give them an inch and they take a mile. I realize this is very difficult, and you will be dealing with this for a long time, but in the end you will feel better. In the years to come, maybe it will help your daughter to know that you did everything possible to have this man punished. I can only immagine the red tape involved with something like this, and I know you want this over with so you can try to put it behind you and get on with your lives. Take everything slowly and with determination and things will work out for the best. Just let the wheels turn slowly but stay determined. We are all here for you in whatever you decide. Your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
MidlifeVenture Posted April 7, 2009 #8 Posted April 7, 2009 If you end up in a trial just Keep in mind you must remain emotionless while in court. Our friends son was shot in the back in cold blooded murder and when the mother showed emotion it caused a miss trial. they said she was trying to sway the jury. Don't loose on a technicality and ask your victims advocate to sit with you and send you out of court room if she feels you might in any way cause a problem. Hope every thing goes well for you a trial is very hard keep friends with you for support.
Rottdoglover Posted April 7, 2009 #9 Posted April 7, 2009 Thoughts & Prayers sent for you all that you may recieve guidance from high. Won't help the little one any but, it would be great if the perp went to the big house. I hear they don't take kindly to his kind in there. Hang in there and be strong.
mini-muffin Posted April 8, 2009 #10 Posted April 8, 2009 Just hang in there sweetie. The judicial system works on it's own time table. I hope this goes ok for you all. Just remember where here for you and you can call anytime. Margaret
sarges46 Posted April 8, 2009 #11 Posted April 8, 2009 We are all still here and still on your side. Let the bugger do his time....at the same time..let the little one be spared if possible. This guy shouldnt be let out for a long time....he will do it again.
Dano Posted April 8, 2009 #12 Posted April 8, 2009 Glad to see the case is moving along now, albeit not exactly as you would have liked. Perhaps as has been said earlier, he will get his justice due. But we all know that he will get his just due when he meets his maker. THAT will be the Final Answer! You and Dale keep your collective chins up and we wait for good news at MD! Dan
Cinderella Posted April 8, 2009 Author #13 Posted April 8, 2009 i guess im just feeling sort of let down right now.....I expected more and wanted more...... the pa said if we want to go to trial and fight it all he would go for it......but after hearing everything today this appears to be the best route to go for haylie. Dale was accepting of this before i was.....guess he had a clearer picture of the system than i did..... to me it should all be clear cut and the ink dry..... my thoughts are that in 12 or 14 yrs haylie will have come of age to understand it all and realize what happened......I need him to spend enough time behind bars for her to come to that point...where we know how it will really affect her.
Cinderella Posted April 8, 2009 Author #14 Posted April 8, 2009 This guy shouldnt be let out for a long time....he will do it again. thats what i said today......70 yr olds and older still do these things to little girls....and chances are she wasnt the first.....i just dont understand the laws.........i think a lot of it has to do with overpopulations ,etc in the system. I need to start writing to jefferson city i guess....... my other agenda is to go speak to the local leo's and let them know they have got to start video taping all confessions......ALL! on a lighter note tho......the pa mentioned his pecking order in prison.....and i mentioned i know quite a few CO's that i wish were here in Missouri...I asked what his chances of being transferred out of state are........:rotf:
Ladybug69 Posted April 8, 2009 #15 Posted April 8, 2009 Glad to see the case is moving along now, albeit not exactly as you would have liked. Perhaps as has been said earlier, he will get his justice due. But we all know that he will get his just due when he meets his maker. THAT will be the Final Answer! You and Dale keep your collective chins up and we wait for good news at MD! Dan Waiting for justice is a killer but no matter what happens in court he still has to pay for his actions in the end. Know that your support and acknowledgement is the best thing for Haylie. Survivors biggest stumbling blocks are the lack of these two things from their loved ones. You all are in my prayers.
wes0778 Posted April 8, 2009 #16 Posted April 8, 2009 This is an opinion from a stranger or maybe aka a friend you haven't met yet. It may also be worth exactly what you paid for it. I don't know and don't want to know any of the specifics and don't know how old your daughter is. What I do know is that there is no one more important in this mess is your little girl! Please weigh what she will have to relive on the witness stand, against the natural parental wish for "a pound of flesh"! As most of the CO's will tell you this guy will be in pure Hell the entire time he is in prison. Even in prison child molesters are on the absolute bottom of the aforementioned pecking order. If 12 years is a certainty and your little girl does not have to face the defense attorney, alone, that may be an acceptable outcome. No, I'm not a lawyer, just a Dad with two daughters! May the Lord be with you and comfort you and your family!!! Walter
painterman67 Posted April 9, 2009 #17 Posted April 9, 2009 HEllo cindi, So far i have refrained from commenting. We haven't met yet and feel that I don't have the wright to place my opinions in your head.Just know that we are praying for you, your family,Your daughter, and all involved in this. Be reasured that your daughter is visited more than you know. So many of us have asked our maker to place his hands on her heart and help heal this wound that only he can fathom. I mean no disrespect only to say my heart goes out tio you. Not sure if I could be as strong as you and your husband have been. God bless and heal, david
cecdoo Posted April 9, 2009 #18 Posted April 9, 2009 Cindi, you Dale and Haylie are in our thoughts everyday, I cant even imagine being in your position, your strength and grace are amazing. I hate to see your family in so much pain I only wish there was more I could do. Take care, Craig
Bubber Posted April 9, 2009 #19 Posted April 9, 2009 I can't believe you would even suggest that I would sell my daughter out for a vacation that I can take ten times a year!I don't have to defend my decision to you or anyone else. I have my daughters best interest at heart. Midnight Rider & Family, We have never met and I am the last to ofer advice here. I can't even begin to imagine the pain and suffering that you and your wife and family have gone through and are prepared to go through to follow this to conclusion. I don't believe any else knows your pain either to the extent that you do. Just let me say that what ever you decide. I believe that it will be a selfless act to protect your daughter and spare her from this nightmare which you have been living with. The perp, will get his either in prison (cons hate molesters) or when he meets his maker. Do what you have to do, do what is right for you and your daughter and family. Only you will have to live with the results, not us. May god bless you and guide you in your decisions and I hope that you will find some peace at the conclusion of this ordeal. Know that we are praying for H and your family and that will be here for you and yours. God Bless you and show you the way. Steve Stelter aka Bubber
slick97spirit Posted April 9, 2009 #20 Posted April 9, 2009 Since we live in the same state I hope to meet you guys at one of the M&E's. Reading through these post, I can say that you guys are an inspiration to us all. I pray God's blessings on your lives. I hope you guys can go to bed each night and sleep in peace knowing that you are being lifted up to the "MOST HIGH."
loehring Posted April 9, 2009 #21 Posted April 9, 2009 I can only immagine what you're going through. I have 2 daughters of my own and I have often wondered what I would do if anything were to happen to them. You see these things on the news but never really think they can happen to your family. Please know that you are in our prayers. Follow your hearts and know that there is no right or wrong answer here. You should not be judged by anyone for what you decide to do. I believe there is no punishment that can be faced on this earth that can compare to the fires of Hell that are waiting. May God bless and comfort your family and may God lay His healing and loving hands upon your daughter.
dynodon Posted April 9, 2009 #22 Posted April 9, 2009 The son of a good friend of mine was killed by a drunk driver going the wrong direction on a divided highway. His family went through several YEARS of delays and really nasty actions, but eventually they saw the woman that killed their son go to jail. This was a young man with a child on the way, a good job, a good future and a very nice person. Someone who was going to add to the joy in the world in many ways. The woman that killed him had had more than one other DUI, and even tried to blame the accident on the guy she killed! Luckily the court system saw through that for once. I can't say that seeing the woman go to jail made it better for them, but it was certainly better than seeing her get out and kill someone else. For them it wasn't about money, it wasn't about revenge, it was about justice and protecting others from the heartache they will have the rest of their lives. I wish you the best, hang in there, and you must decide for yourselves what outcome you want and then stick to that plan.
Lone Eagle Posted April 9, 2009 #23 Posted April 9, 2009 Cindi, you and Dale remain in Barbara's and my thoughts and prayers each day. You both are strong people - and decisions you make - may be tough - but right for you - and your family. Hang in there, both of you, and know that though we are out here in California, we are there for you. Blessing to your family.
kbran Posted April 10, 2009 #24 Posted April 10, 2009 Cindy and Dale, probably haven't said it enough but knowing you dale and haley, know that you are in our prayers daily and what ever God leads you to do we will understand and back you up. We can only imagine the pain that you are going thru and we know that what ever you decide will be best for Haley. Personaly with what you have said of the laws there the decision you are thinking of and protecting Haley from the trial would be best. May God give you the grace and courage to endure and do what is best for your family . We love you all.
Midnight Rider Posted April 11, 2009 #25 Posted April 11, 2009 I want to thank everyone for their prayers and support. I am having a hard time with this but with the people here and some time, we will get past this. When it comes to my little girl......don't think I need to say anything else about that. Hope everyone has a good easter. Haylie wants me to take her fishing tomorrow so guess thats what we will be doing.. Need to get my smoker done tomorrow too so I can smoke the ham sunday.. Love you all, Dale and Brandy-
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