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women drivers


saddlebum

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This morning on the Highway ,

I looked over to my left and there was a

Woman

In a brand new

Cadillac

 

Doing 90 km-per hour

 

With her

Face up next t o her

Rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away

For a couple seconds,

 

and when I looked back she was

Halfway over in my lane,

 

Still working on that makeup.

 

As a man,

I don't scare easily.

 

But she scared me so much;

I dropped

My electric shaver ,

 

Which knocked

The donut

Out of my other hand.

In all

The confusion of trying

 

 

To straighten out the car

 

Using my knees against

The steering wheel,

 

It knocked

My cell phone

 

Away from my ear

 

Which fell

 

Into the coffee

Between my legs,

 

Splashed,

 

And burned

 

Big Jim and the Twins,

 

Ruined the darn phone,

 

Soaked my trousers,

 

And disconnected an

Important call.

 

Stupid women drivers

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