DUI

[timgray]

You know the DUI is enough in most courts eyes to cut his visitation down to supervised with no overnight if you are worried about the kids safety.

 

I would seriously look into it.

[MamaMo]

I agree, all the ones that are on drugs and drinking have to admit they have a problem. Most don't see that they have a problem. They don't see what it does to their families and it is a shame. Some of you may think that I am wrong when I say, if you think that you really have to have a beer everyday then you have a problem. But If you are just drinking one for Medical than you don't. You should be able to go one or more days without one without it brothering you. I work in the public at a gas station/Boyds Bears/video rental store. I see everything. I have some customers that come in and I know they are drunk. They are still asking for more beer. Sad. But on the up side we don't sell beer. Then I have the ones that come in and I know they are messed up on drugs. I even sometimes see the powder on the nose and they don't even realize it is there. A Lady that was a customer and the mother of some of celdawn's friends died of a overdose yesterday. The son came in and told me his mom died yesterday morning with tears in his eyes. I am sure some of her kids don't understand why. I know that they have some Mental Impairments because I helped coach them in Special Olympics. So in writing this my heart is crying for them. :bawling:From what I found out this was the 3rd or 4th time that she tried taking to many drugs and this time she did it.

As for visitation for the ex with the grandkids I say thank God for his wife. The kids like going. So unless the kids would say something is going on. I think they are all right. I also listen to what the step grandchildren are saying when they are here.

[Venturous Randy]

I feel I am lucky that I can drink a beer once in awhile and enjoy it. I also might buy a six-pack and it last for a month in the refrigerator. I grew up in a family where my dad was not like that. Either he was not drinking at all for years or when he drank one, he ended up getting drunk and repeating it over and over. My younger brother inherited that same gene.

It is a shame how many lives have been destroyed with drugs and alcohol. My son's ex had a prescription drug problem and it has ruined her. Laura and I ended up raising the two kids.

RandyA

[Iowawegian]

Just wanted you guys to know I've got you in my thoughts and prayers. It can't be easy...

[StarFan]

Dear Ramona and Gerald.

If my previous post made you feel that I was accusing you in any way of not being tolerate, forgiving and understanding to your X son in law then I ask you to forgive me. It was not the intention in any way. For me it is sometimes a little difficult to find the right words to express my meaning since I am not writing in my native language and my intention was merely to remind us all to have it in our hearts to forgive and believe in the good in people. It was not ment to state that I thought you were not good, forgiveable and tolerate people. Like I said "I did not know the full story" and foolishly thought that my writing would be understood in that way that I was talking "in general" so to speak. Every situation is different from the next and I fully agree that your x son in law would have to have a miracle landing on his shoulders to change his way of thinking/living.

My heart goes out to you regarding your and your familys misfortune and I sincerely hope that time will help heal your wounds. I do understand that you are not ready to forgive this unfortunate person and it is of cause true that the person in question would of cause have to show some signs of remorse and some effort to becoming a better person or at least try to, to be forgiven.

I hope that I have managed to express my meaning a little more clearly.

You and your family are in my prayers and I will also pray for your x son in law. God knows he needs it.

[FROG MAN]

Hey Jonas no problem thanks for your input. I do apologize to the group because I have said to much. Never should have got this deep.Our problems are small compared to what many of you go through. Just caught in the wrong frame of mind. Your prayers are appreciated.

 

[cecdoo]

Gerald I sure dont think you need to apologize to the group. Hang in there buddy. Craig

[Yammer Dan]

Forgive???? I'm sorry I can forgive those I should but I don't FORGET either.

[Lone Eagle]

This is a subject which I don't share often, but feel passionate about. Coming from a relatively short personal "lifestyle" like the x son in law, I agree that a person has to genuinely want to turn their life around. I never thought I had a problem, I thought I had friends, I thought I was having a good time, and "what the heck was a little fun". Though we don't have children, I too went through bank accounts, etc. (about $250,000 to put that into perspective).

 

After my last brush with the law 12 years ago (or longer - can't remember), I could honestly say I skated a 2 year mandatory jail sentence by going to a 30 day live in rehab (along with a bunch of other stuff). For the first 20 days in the rehab center, I was lying and laughing it off. BUT, the last 10 days, I began to understand my situation, began to accept responsibility for my own foolish actions, and honestly acknowledged an addiction to various "things". While in court over that last action, I had made a promise to the judge and D.A. that that was the last time they would see me - and thanked them for a chance. I did have the opportunity after 5 years to go back and thank them - and they had mentioned that I was one - out of the many, many people they deal with on a repeat basis - that had actually done something - but to remember that those struggles can follow me in the future.

 

I feel many people are not as lucky as I am - meaning it is hard to honestly look within one self. Jail time / rehab time does not cure the problem. One has to want to. When I completed various commitments I had set up for myself, the first thing I did was remove myself from my "lifestyle / friends" - and what I learned was that they weren't really "friends" anyway. That meant changing jobs, moving to another city, among other things. After I met my goal to stay clean and sober for 7 years, my "gift" to myself was another motorcycle - I bought my Tour Deluxe deliberately so as to stay away from the Harley (not everyone - please don't take that comment wrong) drinking crowd. One has to want to - and find - what works for them.

 

I like to think positive - in that everyone has a chance - if they want to - to turn their life around. I can "feel" the pain with Gerald and MamaMo - as I had put my parents and loved ones through he** as well. For Gerald/MamaMo and your family, prayers are sent for a better tomorrow - it looks like that has already started.

[Venturous Randy]

Victor, what a fantastic testimony. You done good.

RandyA

[Yammer Dan]

Victor, Just think how close you came to meeting me (or someone like me) as I told you "goodnight" every night before I put you in your 8x10 home with "Bubba"

 

I also can say something about the "Bike Crowd' before this one and why I was such a "Loner" for a lot of years. I have for some reason always hated Drugs. A lot of these people made their living from them. The night I had my 1st major accident they did call the hospital and were told I probally wouldn't make it thru the night. They never called back!! Had plenty of time to think about it lying on my back that time. I was Drunk when I wrecked. That was my Drug! When I could walk I went to the "Clubhouse" laid my vest on the bar cut the "colors" off threw them across the bar and dared anyone to follow me out. You would have had to know me then to understand why they didn't follow. I too like Victor did the "getting away" act. Had no friends for years, wouldn't even talk to people. Really had rep for being weird.

This morning for confessions??

 

THIS CLUB IS FAMILY.

[Squidley]

From a personal standpoint I would like to thank all of you that have let us view a little bit of your souls. My ranting didn't really let you in to mine personally, but I appreciate that, at times, we as a group can talk about very serious things here on this site without it becoming a rant and free for all. It's always a "HOPE" that folks can wake up and stand tall, it is apparent here that many of you have, and beat the odds, I congradulate all of you.

I also dont want anyone to feel that I was or am singling them out. We all have opinions on issues and many are right to left. I'll stand with Bigfoot and say that it's not my place to forgive anyone, that IS Gods job. I only wish that people would accept responsibility for their actions. Thank you to all that have "shared" with all of us here