Who's got the funniest one liner?

[SilvrT]

if you want to play with the big dogs, you have to learn to pee in the tall grass

[Ixolibsky]

He's about as welcome as a fart in a diver's helment!

 

About as funny as a gumball machines in a lockjaw ward.

 

he's so smart he thought asphalt was a butt disease.

[pegscraper]

The guy doesn't know which end of a screwdriver to grab ahold of.

 

The cry of a rising river might be no more than someone peeing in your boot. (Applies particularly well to the global warming nonsense.)

 

Here's a favorite, said slowly and thoughtfully, as if making it up on the fly - you could put all he knows about ***, put it in a thimble, then insert your thumb, and feel no discomfort due to tightness.

[maplehawk]

Shes got a face like a bulldog licking piss of a nettle

 

Shes got a face like a chewed up toffee

 

:rotf:

[bongobobny]

Not the sharpest pencil in the drawer...

 

When they handed out brains he thought they said trains, and was on the wrong track...

[DragonRider]

You stole my best one................:rotf:

 

 

one french fry short of being a happy meal///////:confused24:

 

[DragonRider]

Did you have to post all of them..................

 

 

Taken from here.

 

Not pulling a full wagon.

Not the brightest star in the sky.

The light's on but no one's home.

Not the brightest bulb in the box.

A few screws short of a hardware store.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

A few cards short of a full deck.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

About as sharp as a marble.

Only has one oar in the water.

Smart as a bag of rocks.

A hamburger short of picnic.

The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

A few peas short of a casserole.

A few keys short of a piano.

Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

As smart as a stick.

Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

Has an IQ of room temperature.

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

Not the sharpest crayon in the box

Not the the sharpest tool in the shed

They are depriving some village of its idiot.

A few threads short of a sweater.

Driveway doesn't quite reach the road.

The battery is not fully charged.

Dumber than a bag of hammers.

A few bricks short of a full load.

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few beers short of a six-pack.

Dumber than a box of hair.

All foam no beer.

As smart as bait.

Forgot to pay his brain bill.

The antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Receiver is off the hook.

Has a leak in the skylight.

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

Not all the soldiers are marching in line.

Dumber than paint.

Half a bubble off plumb.

Donated his brain to science before he was done with it.

A few shades beyond blonde.

A few watts short of a light bulb

Running on 3 cylinders.

Has the parachute but is missing the ripcord.

Would lose a debate with a doorknob.

Has an IQ lower than plant life.

All volume, and no content.

Wouldn't know if they were on foot or horseback.

The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.

The cheese slid off the cracker.

Doesn't have all the chairs at the table. .

A shining example of why you should avoid inbreeding.

A few pecans short of a fruitcake.

Would argue with a signpost.

If you gave them a penny for thoughts, you'd get change.

Dumb as a salt shaker.

Has a mind like a steel trap: rusty and illegal in 37 states.

Knitting with only one needle.

The result of too much chlorine in the gene pool.

Not the quickest bunny in the forest.

The hard drive is spinning but the OS hasn't been installed.

Not exactly burning all thrusters.

A few colors short of a rainbow.

The boat doesn't have all the oars in the water.

A few ships short of a fleet.

A monosynaptic cretin (Don't understand it? 'nuff said)

A few noodles short of a chow mein.

A few bristles short of a broom.

Doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.

Hasn't seen the ball since kickoff.

The relative IQ of a deck chair.

A poster child for birth control.

A few players short of a team.

Couldn't hit the floor if he fell on it.

A few sheep short of a flock.

Not the brightest light in the harbor.

One plate short of a tea set.

A few kangaroos loose in the top paddock.....

A few slices short of a sandwich.....

A few sausages short of a BBQ

If her IQ was any flipping lower we'd have to water her.

A few more braincells and he would be a cabbage

[hale374]

I'm sweating like a whore in church.

[SilvrT]

one log short of a cord

[SilvrT]

here's one that some of you might have encountered on your computer...

 

Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue ...

 

yeahsureright !

[Cerviperus]

Did you have to post all of them..................

And so it begins... I'm not Black Owl. That's Cerberus you're thinking of.

 

And although I posted those, I have to admit I laughed harder at most of the ones posted here than the ones from that site.

[Ozark]

Taken from here.

 

Not pulling a full wagon.

Not the brightest star in the sky........

.......................................................................

If her IQ was any flipping lower we'd have to water her.

A few more braincells and he would be a cabbage

Me thinks someone just use used up all the good one. Thanks alot Cerviperus.

P.S. I still like your bike though. :hihi:

[Kurt]

If it were any different it wouldn't be the same.

[Yammer Dan]

Intelligence is Not a Requirement to be a Convict!!

 

 

 

My own invention!!

[1BigDog]

When God said "Come Forth for Brains" he came fifth........

[cecdoo]

Throw him in a barrel of T*T's, he'd come out sucking his thumb. Craig (Hope its within the "PG" rating)

[got2mnytoys]

Busy as a whore on dollar day

Tired as a whore or dollar day

Edited November 27, 2008 by got2mnytoys

[Grandpagak]

SLEEZIER THAN A BOX OF :rasberry:SNOT..

[Grey beard]

His dipstick isn't touching any oil.

[Marcarl]

"Intimacy changes after marriage; then you're in bed with a relative."

Maybe if you're redneck, but normally not.

[RSTDdog]

You can't spell overreact with out the word ovary....

 

Has a photographic memory, just doesn't have any film.....

[Marcarl]

Better to have people think you're a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

 

 

There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who are Dutch and those who wish they were.

[tooldood]

He's from the shallow end of the gene pool...

[Guest tessa c2]

if you can't keep up to the pack....... then it's time that the old dog stays infrount of the door.

 

useless as t?ts on a boar

 

it's all fun and games, till somebody looses an eye, then it becomes hularious

 

then there is the one that i use most, and i would be bared from here for life, if i put it on, but it is a comparason, to the way i have intercourse, and i can put in any discription i want, or just leave it open and let that person fll in the action. ie, he drives like, @##$$%%%%^^&^, ; lots of speed and no control

 

 

a night at the tavern; came home 3 sheets to the wind, completly gibbled, need band aids for your eyes,

 

at work, with they hand held radios,, they will ask, Pete are you by? i'll answere, no i prefere women

[Marcarl]

Back in the day when many people smoked cigarettes and Camels were popular:

Nine out ten doctors who have tried Camels still prefer women.