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Posted

We've all heard the one liners that go something like this.....

"Her elevator doesn't go to the top floor"

"He's a few bricks short of a full load"

Just wondering what is the best one you've heard?

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Posted
We've all heard the one liners that go something like this.....

"Her elevator doesn't go to the top floor"

"He's a few bricks short of a full load"

Just wondering what is the best one you've heard?

 

Being there's only 2 to choose from, I'll say the first one is the best one I've heard.....

 

:think:

Posted
Being there's only 2 to choose from, I'll say the first one is the best one I've heard.....

 

:think:

 

Silly,

I don't mean the ones I posted. What are some good ones you've heard before that struck your funny bone?

Posted
Silly,

I don't mean the ones I posted. What are some good ones you've heard before that struck your funny bone?

 

Hey, don't take Rick that serious, he recently converted to a 2Gen ...

 

:missingtooth:

Posted

Taken from here.

 

Not pulling a full wagon.

Not the brightest star in the sky.

The light's on but no one's home.

Not the brightest bulb in the box.

A few screws short of a hardware store.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

A few cards short of a full deck.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

About as sharp as a marble.

Only has one oar in the water.

Smart as a bag of rocks.

A hamburger short of picnic.

The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

A few peas short of a casserole.

A few keys short of a piano.

Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

As smart as a stick.

Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

Has an IQ of room temperature.

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

Not the sharpest crayon in the box

Not the the sharpest tool in the shed

They are depriving some village of its idiot.

A few threads short of a sweater.

Driveway doesn't quite reach the road.

The battery is not fully charged.

Dumber than a bag of hammers.

A few bricks short of a full load.

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few beers short of a six-pack.

Dumber than a box of hair.

All foam no beer.

As smart as bait.

Forgot to pay his brain bill.

The antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Receiver is off the hook.

Has a leak in the skylight.

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

Not all the soldiers are marching in line.

Dumber than paint.

Half a bubble off plumb.

Donated his brain to science before he was done with it.

A few shades beyond blonde.

A few watts short of a light bulb

Running on 3 cylinders.

Has the parachute but is missing the ripcord.

Would lose a debate with a doorknob.

Has an IQ lower than plant life.

All volume, and no content.

Wouldn't know if they were on foot or horseback.

The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.

The cheese slid off the cracker.

Doesn't have all the chairs at the table. .

A shining example of why you should avoid inbreeding.

A few pecans short of a fruitcake.

Would argue with a signpost.

If you gave them a penny for thoughts, you'd get change.

Dumb as a salt shaker.

Has a mind like a steel trap: rusty and illegal in 37 states.

Knitting with only one needle.

The result of too much chlorine in the gene pool.

Not the quickest bunny in the forest.

The hard drive is spinning but the OS hasn't been installed.

Not exactly burning all thrusters.

A few colors short of a rainbow.

The boat doesn't have all the oars in the water.

A few ships short of a fleet.

A monosynaptic cretin (Don't understand it? 'nuff said)

A few noodles short of a chow mein.

A few bristles short of a broom.

Doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.

Hasn't seen the ball since kickoff.

The relative IQ of a deck chair.

A poster child for birth control.

A few players short of a team.

Couldn't hit the floor if he fell on it.

A few sheep short of a flock.

Not the brightest light in the harbor.

One plate short of a tea set.

A few kangaroos loose in the top paddock.....

A few slices short of a sandwich.....

A few sausages short of a BBQ

If her IQ was any flipping lower we'd have to water her.

A few more braincells and he would be a cabbage

Posted

There's one thing good about being poor - its inexpensive.

 

Success is a relative term - It brings so many relatives!

 

Illiterate?... Write for FREE HELP!

 

Oh yea? If you're so smart, why don't I understand you?

 

She is so deep, get close and you can hear the ocean!

Posted

Was travelling up in the country here in Iceland and we came to an isolated farm. Living there were three brothers and their Mom.

They invited us in for coffee and a chat and it was hilarious to say the least. It was quite clear that they did not get visitors very often since they were just flooding us with all kind of questions and talking without stopping. Then one of them asked us how old we were (we were around 25 at the time and after we had told them I asked them in return how old they were. I will always remember the sincere answer I got:

 

Tomas is 67, Hans is 63, I am 71 but can´t remember how old Mom is but she is older than we are. :backinmyday:

Posted

He's so tight he will jump over a gate so he won't wear out the hinges.

 

He'll climb a tree to tell a lie when he could stand on the ground and tell the truth.

 

Your village called, they want their idiot back.

 

You want it when??

 

When pigs fly.

 

His family tree has no branches.

 

Don H.

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