FATE is truly a harsh mistress

[RoyalPain]

Hi all,

I have come to you today for the sole purpose of finding pity and commiseration. From the age of 15, up until about ten years ago I have always had a bike between my knees. My favorite being an 83 royale I purchased new and had until 99. After a divorce it wasnt 10 years before I was finally able to afford the 89 that my wife found me for christmas last year

Now after only 4532 miles I have suffered the unimaginable! After a tumble down the stairs I have found the absolute worst bone any rider can break. The coxix . At three weeks out, I'm getting the sweats just watching the rider icon above! Not to worry though. I figure by the time I am confident in my ability to lift my leg over the seat, I will have figured out a way to mount a discrete donut in my seat run off the bikes compressor. If there hapens to be anyone that has suffered a fractured @ss and found a way to make riding more comfortable, PLEASE fill me in !!

 

Pain

Hmmm, I can't help but wonder if I somehow saw this coming when I chose my screen name......

[Mariner Fan]

Dang, what a pain in the butt...........sorry, couldn't resist..

[StarFan]

There is a way around this. Get yourself a Piaggio Vespa. Then you can slid right on the seat and wont have to lift your foot. Pretty cool machines but by all means stay off the freeway.

Wish you quick healing !!!!!!!!!

[Bummer]

OUCH!

 

Good luck with healing quickly. It's got to be rough spending eighteen weeks sitting on an inflatable donut. You've given me an all new respect for stairways.

[Yammer Dan]

I've had over 60 bones broken and didn't get that one!! Don't think I'll try for it.

 

Listen to the docs and heal quickly!

[BIG TOM]

I'VE BEEN PONDERING YOUR RECENT MISFORTUNE.. BUTT...(HA HA ) ALL I HAVE COME UP WITH IS MORE QUESTIONS...DOES IT HURT WHEN YOU WIPE???? CAN YOU WIPE?..OR DO YOU NEED HELP?..AND IF YOU DO.. WHO HELPS?... YOUR WIFE OR CLOSE FRIEND?..WHAT IF THERE NO ONE AROUND?...HOW PROFOUND..I KEEP COMMING UP WITH MORE QUESTIONS...YEA, MORE QUESTIONS..I THINK I'LL KEEP THESE TO MY SELF...HOPE YOU HEAL QUICKLY..AND IF YOU NEED A HAND..CALL.......AH..CALL..AHHH..ANYONE BUTT ME... MY REGRETS ON YOUR ACCIDENT....

Edited October 25, 2008 by BIG TOM

[Schlepporello]

I'm reminded of a song, a choral piece in particular that comes from a greater work titled"The Triumphs of Thusnelda". The song I'm reminded of is "The Queen to Me a Royal Pain Doth Give".

 

Git healt up quick!

[Ladyrider]

RP...are you serious? Did that really happen? Thats the funniest story I have heard in a long time...Sounds like Laurel and Hardy, between you and BIG TOM, I almost wet my pants laughing...man this is funny stuff and to think at your RP in the butt expense...I would suggest laying on the bed or couch on your side, take your motrin and PLEASE dont be exercisng that crack at all....I mean give those cheeks a good rest (on your side)...Mercy...(pssst, its spelled coccyx...practically the only medical term I can spell...)

[RoyalPain]

Hey Schlep, would that be " a Queen who reigns, yet keeps her powder dry, must power use where love would best apply to keep me" FROM RIDING MY DAMN BIKE?!?!?!? Lol, very nice!!

And yes Ladyrider, I kid thee not! I would probably laugh it off myself butt we don't laugh just yet. WAAAY to painful. And if you laughed before, you'll love this. My 2yo has been taking great joy in sneaking up on me and screaming at the top of his little lungs because of the little "muh muh" noises I make after the automatic full body clench his scream gives.

Thank you all very much for the well wishing, I feel a litle better now, well from the neck up

 

Pain

[Snarley Bill]

prayers are being sent for the quick recovery of your arse. love the screen name. so you had to bust your ass to post on here. gee it really ain't funny, i do hope you heal up quickly and be ready for spring. i know where this post is going. folks have a heart, its got to hurt.

[eazyduzzit]

As I understand it, there's a member here who will rebuild a seat by hollowing out the foam and inserting a more comfortable material. Have him hollow yours out and leave it hollow.

[Marcarl]

I would think a good massage once or twice a day would help straighten things out a bit for ya. It may hurt at first, but then it's only pain and pain is only a feeling, and after you feel it often enough, the brain tends to disregard it somewhat.

Another solution maybe to eat all those donuts and so put more padding on the back side to help naturally cushion any future impact.

I really think you are the first on this site to post such misfortune. Could you kindly keep us posted so that should something so dreadful were happen to any of us we would be better equipped to deal with the aftermath???????

[hipshot]

Hi all,

I have come to you today for the sole purpose of finding pity and commiseration. From the age of 15, up until about ten years ago I have always had a bike between my knees. My favorite being an 83 royale I purchased new and had until 99. After a divorce it wasnt 10 years before I was finally able to afford the 89 that my wife found me for christmas last year

Now after only 4532 miles I have suffered the unimaginable! After a tumble down the stairs I have found the absolute worst bone any rider can break. The coxix . At three weeks out, I'm getting the sweats just watching the rider icon above! Not to worry though. I figure by the time I am confident in my ability to lift my leg over the seat, I will have figured out a way to mount a discrete donut in my seat run off the bikes compressor. If there hapens to be anyone that has suffered a fractured @ss and found a way to make riding more comfortable, PLEASE fill me in !!

 

Pain

Hmmm, I can't help but wonder if I somehow saw this coming when I chose my screen name......

 

Robert.

I for one , will not make light of your injury.

i merely "bruised" my tailbone, a few years ago, and i can empathize with you.

damn, it hurts!!!

just jt

[Snaggletooth]

I feel your pain RoyalPain. Did the the Damaged Duck walk for a couple of months after I broke mine trying the be "Cool Dad" skating with my daughter. There is NO way to get comfortable in any position. I took to sleeping face down on top of a stack of pillows that left me in a some what undignified position that had the dog eyeballing me at bedtime. Now that is unnerving!

 

As for that first attempt at riding again..........Stuff a glove in your mouth! I'm serious!

 

I sounded like cross between a person inflicted with Torettes and a drunken sailor. Every tar strip, peddle, crack, pot hole or speed bump set me off exploring new combinations of profanities. I surprized myself at some of the words I knew.

 

And the Doctor! He was no help at all. He had trouble keeping a straight face. His best offer was "What do you want me to do? Put your @ss in a sling?" Fine! I'd had that doc for too long anyway. Now that I think of it, he had the same smirk on his face as my dog. Creepy.

 

BUTT, hang in there. In a few months you will feel like you can live with it. You get used to it. You can always put a staple through your lip to take your mind off of it for a few minutes.

 

Hope this has been some comfort to you. Wanna buy a dog? He's house broken, loves kids, don't drink from the toilet, but tends to snort crack which is actually the reason he needs a new home. Did I mention his cold nose?

 

Mike

[autopilot]

I'VE BEEN PONDERING YOUR RECENT MISFORTUNE.. BUTT...(HA HA ) ALL I HAVE COME UP WITH IS MORE QUESTIONS...DOES IT HURT WHEN YOU WIPE???? CAN YOU WIPE?..OR DO YOU NEED HELP?..AND IF YOU DO.. WHO HELPS?... YOUR WIFE OR CLOSE FRIEND?..WHAT IF THERE NO ONE AROUND?...HOW PROFOUND..I KEEP COMMING UP WITH MORE QUESTIONS...YEA, MORE QUESTIONS..I THINK I'LL KEEP THESE TO MY SELF...HOPE YOU HEAL QUICKLY..AND IF YOU NEED A HAND..CALL.......AH..CALL..AHHH..ANYONE BUTT ME... MY REGRETS ON YOUR ACCIDENT....

 

:Im not listening to:Im not listening to:Im not listening to TOO MUCH INFORMATION.....TOO VIVID MENTAL IMAGES...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[Schlepporello]

Hey Schlep, would that be " a Queen who reigns, yet keeps her powder dry, must power use where love would best apply to keep me" FROM RIDING MY DAMN BIKE?!?!?!? Lol, very nice!!

Ah, another person on the board who appreciates the finer compositions of P.D.Q. Bach.

 

I feel your pain, so to speak. I've done the same thing myself and it doesn't help much when my livelihood depends on me driving a bouncy truck all day long.

Git healed up quick!

[utadventure]

Sorry to hear about your misfortune. I can honestly say I've never prayed for someone's backside, but, here you go.

 

I could have happened at a worse time of the year. I'd say now is a good time to pull the seat and send it off to Rick the "Butt Butler" and have hime redo your seat.

 

Dave

[Bob Myers]

Fell down the bleachers when I was in school(yes Dave, they had bleachers back then), broke mine too. It was several weeks of learning new ways to sit and lie in bed, butt, it did heal and I only vaguely remember what a pain it was to ride my then nearly new '67 Honda S90. I do know it was several weeks before I could actually ride it though. If memory serve me, squatting down and then standing was usually enough pain rush to make you pass out.

[RoyalPain]

I feel your pain RoyalPain. Did the the Damaged Duck walk for a couple of months after I broke mine trying the be "Cool Dad" skating with my daughter. There is NO way to get comfortable in any position. I took to sleeping face down on top of a stack of pillows that left me in a some what undignified position that had the dog eyeballing me at bedtime. Now that is unnerving!

 

As for that first attempt at riding again..........Stuff a glove in your mouth! I'm serious!

 

I sounded like cross between a person inflicted with Torettes and a drunken sailor. Every tar strip, peddle, crack, pot hole or speed bump set me off exploring new combinations of profanities. I surprized myself at some of the words I knew.

 

And the Doctor! He was no help at all. He had trouble keeping a straight face. His best offer was "What do you want me to do? Put your @ss in a sling?" Fine! I'd had that doc for too long anyway. Now that I think of it, he had the same smirk on his face as my dog. Creepy.

 

BUTT, hang in there. In a few months you will feel like you can live with it. You get used to it. You can always put a staple through your lip to take your mind off of it for a few minutes.

 

Hope this has been some comfort to you. Wanna buy a dog? He's house broken, loves kids, don't drink from the toilet, but tends to snort crack which is actually the reason he needs a new home. Did I mention his cold nose?

 

Mike

ROFLMAO!! Dude, I am way ahead of you on all points! Sleeping in just the position you described, everytime I heard the clatter of nails on the hardwood floor I had to roll over in fear of a cold Shar pai nose! She hasnt got me but I just know it's on her mind!

As for your description of recovery, I'm left filled with light and hope. And just your description of a ride gave me the shakes!

Pain.

[RoyalPain]

Fell down the bleachers when I was in school(yes Dave, they had bleachers back then), broke mine too. It was several weeks of learning new ways to sit and lie in bed, butt, it did heal and I only vaguely remember what a pain it was to ride my then nearly new '67 Honda S90. I do know it was several weeks before I could actually ride it though. If memory serve me, squatting down and then standing was usually enough pain rush to make you pass out.

 

Trust me Bob, your memory serves you very well indeed!!

Pain

[Gray Ghost]

I didn't break mine, but a flight from Vegas to San Fransisco bent mine about a year ago. The doc put me on Naprocyn and while it helps some I still have problems with some sitting arrangements.

 

What helps for me is not a doughnut, but one of those horseshoe shaped neck pillows. I take one with me on airlines, forgot it for my last trip and really regretted it. The other thing was that I used to ride with no air in my shocks. Put some air in those puppies and it feels a bunch better. As far as keeping the pillow on the bike, my sheepskins have a strap to hold them on, just put the pillow under the skin and it stays pretty well. You can arrange the opening in such a way that it relieves the pressure.

 

And I really think that the seat mod would work wonders. Hope you heal quickly.

[RoyalPain]

Ah, another person on the board who appreciates the finer compositions of P.D.Q. Bach.

 

I feel your pain, so to speak. I've done the same thing myself and it doesn't help much when my livelihood depends on me driving a bouncy truck all day long.

Git healed up quick!

 

LOL, okay, I am beginning to see use of words like "bouncy" as an overt act of cruelty!!

I was pleasantly surprised by your Bach reference ! I spent two years living with my perpetually angry German aunt who left me with a lasting appreciation for both classic literature and the great German composers. Man, that woman could throw a plate!!

Pain

[RoyalPain]

Sorry to hear about your misfortune. I can honestly say I've never prayed for someone's backside, but, here you go.

 

I could have happened at a worse time of the year. I'd say now is a good time to pull the seat and send it off to Rick the "Butt Butler" and have hime redo your seat.

 

Dave

Hey Uta, I'm grateful for yours and others prairs for my abused backside! That has to be an awkward conversation starter to say the least! I agree on the seat suggestion too, though I must admidt when someone mentioned "having my seat hollowed out" before it got me to thinking about a whole new course of treatment!!

Pain

[RoyalPain]

THanks to all for your kind and amusing replies! And rest assured, no one need worry about my sense of humor on this issue. If you will notice the new avitar I put together, it should be proof enough that the years spent within the confines of my first marrage left me more than capable of laughing at so comparitivley minor a pain in the Butt as this!! (ow ow ow ow ow)

Pain

[RoyalPain]

(pssst, its spelled coccyx...practically the only medical term I can spell...)

LOL, okay I "sit" corrected on this point. However (here it comes) the bastardized "coxix" spelling is even grudgingly accecpted within the medical comunity. I'll have to go through some of my paper work to be sure, but I even had either a doctor , or discharge nurse use the same bad spelling.

Thanks to many an evening spent with a genuine "hippie" former sister inlaw, where the fear of being in "bad form" alone kept me from chewing through my own leg to escape, I will always connect the word "coccyx" to "the first chakra". You know, the one viewed as the energy center that is connected with family and social belonging. The chakra that is involved with emotional grounding and stability, as well as a sense of belonging.............. Okay, now my Butt really hurts LOL.

And no, who could possibly make this stuff up?!?!?!?! ALthough I will concede that I may have accidently doubled up on my oxycontin.

Pain